Mar. 29th, 2012

phantym_56: (ed - different class)

I'm at Altitude. It's now Thursday. I've been to eight shows, got two more today and at least two tomorrow. Late Shows run until 2 or 2.30 am, snowboarding lessons need me to be up by 8am and the gap in between is mostly filled with insomnia. Please don't think I'm not enjoying it but I'm crazy tired and I'm at that stage of exhaustion where I'm a ticking time bomb of anger and tears and at the moment, it's on the brink of exploding out in one particular direction, at a target who probably doesn't really deserve my rage. Just two minutes, you bastard! What is wrong with you?!

Anyway, phoned home, told Mum I'd been out so late every night and up so early every morning and I'm so tired I plan to spend most of tomorrow asleep. I got "You can't, you're on holiday, you can't waste your time like that." Do you see where I get this need to put pressure on myself from? If it's about putting in enough 'holiday hours' I've done that. I'm doing twenty-hour days! It's apparently unreasonable to want more than sixteen hours sleep in an entire week - from the woman who throws a tantrum if she doesn't get eight hours a *night*, minimum.

A post filled with the joy of Altitude will be forthcoming when I'm less exhausted and moody. Probably Sunday. (And it is joyful here, although obviously I'm not really selling it right now)

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