phantym_56: (ed - headhand)
 Four whole days with no posting. That's not like me. That sort of makes me feel like I should offer some sort of explanation. I've not had anything to say and for once I've managed to not say it. 

Stress at work, hand injury, shopping/hiking, sleep. Kinda rambly )
phantym_56: (ed - reunited - win)
It has been a pretty good-ok-ish sort of day. I have slept ok for the last two nights so that helps a lot, catching up on the sleep I missed Sunday night. Unfortunately, I did eat last night before bed, a couple of slices of toast and a handful of cheesy biscuits, I think, so not much and quite early on too, but not being very good at the whole food thing, I woke up at god-knows-what-time feeling very very sick. This generally happens if I've eaten cheese after about 9pm but I had no cheese yesterday. I haven't had cheese since Sunday. Anyway, after lying very still for a while and trying to sit up a bit, I must have fallen asleep again fairly quickly.

It got to about 10am before I remembered I didn't have breakfast. This isn't unusual, I generally don't bother having breakfast if I've got to go to work and it's a really bad habit and I really should force myself out of bed ten or twenty minutes earlier to make time for it. But at 10, I suddenly realised I was really really hungry. For some reason, if I don't eat before bed, I'm not hungry the next day. If I do eat before bed, I'm invariably starving in the morning. And I was starving! And then Mandy came over at lunchtime to do some Brownie planning so I didn't get any lunch either *cries*

It's odd how lack of food affects your mood. Despite the fact that I come to LJ to whine and cry and be sad and angry and unleash a gamut of negative emotions I don't get to display in real life, the flesh-and-blood me is generally sunny-tempered, or at the very least placid and even-tempered. But this afternoon... I could feel this hunger-induced despair. Things that shouldn't have been upsetting me were - I won't even start on the saga of the chocolate biscuits. I was resentful of everyone else in the room who had eaten in the last twelve hours, I was starting to have trouble getting a thought together (although this may be the stress of covering the work of two people who are away - I'm half trained in their work, but I'm office admin and crap jobs, not order processing and I suspect it would be just as quick for the order people to do the orders themselves than to have to keep answering my questions)

Anyway. Then I went snowboarding. I had to buy a new pass because I finished my one last time. Accidentally bought ten hours instead of five but never mind. I've got through four passes in the last two years so I will be using those five hours eventually but that's twenty half-hour sessions. If I go twice a month, that's ten months it'll last! There were some Explorers coming to play on the ringos, using half the slope and possibly straying onto the other half. They apologised that I probably wouldn't get much snowboarding done. "Obviously, we won't take any time off your pass for tonight...." Sweet. I like the snowboarding lot. They do give me a free night from time to time. When it's half term and there are ten thousand kids learning to ski so the queue for the lift is eight miles long and you only manage three descents in the half hour - I got that night for free as well.

The "Explorers" looked familiar, or their t-shirts did. After I'd finished and put my normal shoes back on, I approached their leader and asked if they were Rangers. They were indeed and we spent half an hour chatting about Senior Section. She's given me some interesting ideas to discuss with my own girls and also given me a flyer about an activity challenge camp for the entire county that has somehow not made it to my neck of the woods. It looks great. I really hope my girls would like to go. All sorts of activities for £20, finishing up the night with a barbecue. And then I got home at 7.30pm and finally got to have some food. Been awake eleven and a half hours, done a day's work and been snowboarding and only just getting the first morsels of food in me. Well done there. I would make a good anorexic because I can go quite a long time without food. I would make a bad anorexic because I hate it and it would make me cry all the time.

And finally, I've decided to go ahead and have a go at the Walking Qualification. I picked up the book last time I was at CHQ, flicked through, shuddered and put it down. But I'll be brave. I'm a qualified leader, now I will do an activity qualification. I will get in touch with the County Outdoors Advisor to see how I go about doing the qualification - will it at any point involve a weekend at one of the training centres? I will order the book tonight, it'll arrive next week and I can have a look through and see how plausible it really looks.
phantym_56: (bryan - pretty hair)
Sorry. I'm feeling a lot better now. Calmer, more rational, heart a little stonier. I have cried my cry (not helped by going downstairs to demonstrate calmness straight into a room where Mother and Sister were watching Long Lost Family - set me off again!) and I am back in my right mind.
The misery hasn't hit much in 2011 but damn, that hit hard tonight.

We have a long weekend coming up. I am making good on my resolution to hike more, with a seven mile hill and cliff hike planned, depending on weather and period pains. I managed to buy food tonight and I'll see if I can hunt down my Camelbak in the morning and then off I'm going. After all, there's no need to watch The Wedding when the news for the next week will show all the important bits.

Saturday is for a little shopping. A couple of years ago I bought a big soft red tartan shirt with a hood and it's wonderful for either wearing on its own or for throwing on as an extra warm layer. Don't know what I'd have done without it in Vilnius. The shop I bought it from now has a very similar one in blue on its website. I will need to prod it to make sure it's just as soft but if it is, I'm buying it. And I've got some Norwegian kroner reserved at the travel agent. In a fit of organisationalness, I ordered it on Tuesday. The last two mad trips I've done, Romania and Lithuania, they don't have currency that is generally kept in stock at travel agents or post offices, you have to order it in plenty of time. But apparently, Norway is a common enough destination that I could have just walked in the day before I left and asked for it and they'd just have taken it out of the NOK drawer.

And I suppose I should find a birthday present for Sister. I've been toying with the idea of a spa day - she really wants to go and is insanely jealous that I've been twice and the one we went to for Annie's hen party does a £65 day all-in, two treatments. That's £130 for the both of us, because obviously I'd go as well. And I could afford that. But... it's £130, which is a lot of money and it may also suggest I'm more fond of her than I actually am. I may go for the old standby of shoes/clothes/makeup/Johnny Depp DVD. I notice The Tourist is out and I'm fairly sure she hasn't got it yet. But I have no idea what the Useless Boyfriend is getting her. Probably not an engagement ring. (She's stopped saying "No, I'm not marrying [Useless Boyfriend]" and started saying "Well, he isn't proposing. No, I'm not asking him." My point being that now, in the unlikely event of him asking, she would say yes, whereas before she wasn't keen on the idea.)

Sunday is a day off and so is Monday. I have made no plans but I'm hoping to get out of tidying my room. Yes, it looks like it belongs to a particularly messy thirteen-year-old. You try fitting twenty-five years of life in one minuscule room and see how tidy it is. Twenty-five years of life of a hoarder who gets ridiculously attached to things, at that.

Goodnight. I'm clearly in need of a good long sleep.
phantym_56: (ed - this big!)
I am bored out of my tiny little mind. No response from Jess or Annie about meeting up this week (should be neither surprised nor disappointed. That's how people work). I braved the shops this morning because Mum wanted to get out of the house, so I wandered aimlessly for an hour or so, looking in all the shops I go in all year round, at all the stuff I can buy all year round. I find shopping immensely boring unless I'm shopping for something specific, and then it tends to be stressful because I can't go home until I've bought some shoes!! or What on earth do I get Jess for Christmas?? or some such.

My thoughts on Top Gear in the Middle East, Three Men Go to Scotland (and sailing), tonight's TV and last night's insomnia )

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June 2012

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