Day 16 - Your First Kiss, in great detail
Dec. 5th, 2010 01:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
phantym_56Right. I was... fifteen, I think. It was February or March. I'd acquired a boyfriend by accident (a Valentine's card sent four years earlier had triggered some overexcited texting, finishing with "Will you be my girlfriend (and don't tell [Jess]!)") and sweet as he was, he wasn't boyfriend material at the time, I wasn't girlfriend material and it was a mess waiting to happen. I was stuck with that from February 7th to the night before we went on our GCSE study leave in about May/June before I summoned the courage to dump him. By text. Even at the time, I knew that wasn't really the done thing but I felt since it had started with a text, it wasn't so unreasonable to end it with a text. Anyway, I'd gone to his house one Saturday afternoon and he'd played some Playstation game while I sat and watched. I am as incapable of playing video games as I am of walking on the surface of the sun. Many people assert their authority over me by humiliating me at video games. We were sitting on the floor, against his bed when he turned to me and I knew what was going to happen. I turned my head away and he kissed my ear. Then he giggled softly and said "Let's try that again," turned my head and kissed me. I wasn't keen. I seem to remember that afternoon, tying him up with a dressing gown cord in an attempt to get him to leave me alone but hadn't realised at that age that tying your boyfriend up doesn't generally signify that you don't want him.
In fact, while I'm talking about kissing, I'm not a huge fan. I've been kissed by *counts on fingers* six people? This first boyfriend of mine, Silver, some guy from the opposite court when I was at uni, Moon from the club and Tank. Five people. At the Freshers Ball in my first week of uni, our house pretty much paired off with the people from No 21. He didn't have anyone and neither did I so we ended up with each other by default. That is not grounds to take him back to my room, or indeed to be taken back to his, afterwwards. My main memory of that night is losing my bracelet, finding my bracelet, walking back barefoot across acorns with him making us stop every three steps so he could kiss me again, me thinking "This fucking hurts, I want to go home, get off me!" (hurts = the acorns rather than the kissing) and then "How do I get rid of him?!" once we got back to the court. Moon from the club - another accidental relationship. Didn't go well. I never intended to end up with him. And I think I talked about Tank here, back in September.
What I know is that I've been kissed by Silver enough times and seen him kiss other people on the same night - Summer Ball, New Year's Eve etc etc - that I've lost any sense of kissing being special. I quite like it when he's been drinking too much beer because it makes him taste really sweet but no, on the whole it doesn't do anything for me.
That's detail. I've failed at "detail" on most of the other questions but I think that's even too much detail.
Today I've helped put the Christmas lights out on the hedge. We've got flashing blue-white ones - we used to have white icicle lights but they got destroyed a couple of years ago so now we have a plain string of white LED ones which we just drape. We also have red berry lights - also not the originals. This afternoon we'll be putting out the multi-coloured flashing ones around the porch. These are new LED ones but I can't remember why. It's not because they were destroyed. They're nowhere near as good as the original ones with real bulbs. I like LEDs in their place but fairy lights are not their place. Luckily, we've still got an original set (they're older than me; my parents bought them when they were first married 28 years ago, or maybe before they got married. I genuinely have no idea whether or not they lived together before they were married). These original ones are now taped up inside the dining room window. I love Christmas lights. I love lights in the dark in general. That's why I don't mind in the least that it's pitch black when I come out of work at 5pm and I'm not backing this "Mess around with our clocks!" thing that's suddenly appeared this year. How many years has everyone been fine with it? Why is it suddenly this year that it's a big deal that we must consider changing the system? I like the system.
I'm wearing a navy blue and dark grey striped thermal top today. It's for men but I like it. I've got a ladies' one, in thin pink/purple/grey/black stripes and I like it but my manly one is longer, the sleeves are longer and it feels sort of slinky. I like the way it looks on me. Men's clothes are so much better than women's. Give me a manly t-shirt over a girly top and work boots over heels any day.
In fact, while I'm talking about kissing, I'm not a huge fan. I've been kissed by *counts on fingers* six people? This first boyfriend of mine, Silver, some guy from the opposite court when I was at uni, Moon from the club and Tank. Five people. At the Freshers Ball in my first week of uni, our house pretty much paired off with the people from No 21. He didn't have anyone and neither did I so we ended up with each other by default. That is not grounds to take him back to my room, or indeed to be taken back to his, afterwwards. My main memory of that night is losing my bracelet, finding my bracelet, walking back barefoot across acorns with him making us stop every three steps so he could kiss me again, me thinking "This fucking hurts, I want to go home, get off me!" (hurts = the acorns rather than the kissing) and then "How do I get rid of him?!" once we got back to the court. Moon from the club - another accidental relationship. Didn't go well. I never intended to end up with him. And I think I talked about Tank here, back in September.
What I know is that I've been kissed by Silver enough times and seen him kiss other people on the same night - Summer Ball, New Year's Eve etc etc - that I've lost any sense of kissing being special. I quite like it when he's been drinking too much beer because it makes him taste really sweet but no, on the whole it doesn't do anything for me.
That's detail. I've failed at "detail" on most of the other questions but I think that's even too much detail.
Today I've helped put the Christmas lights out on the hedge. We've got flashing blue-white ones - we used to have white icicle lights but they got destroyed a couple of years ago so now we have a plain string of white LED ones which we just drape. We also have red berry lights - also not the originals. This afternoon we'll be putting out the multi-coloured flashing ones around the porch. These are new LED ones but I can't remember why. It's not because they were destroyed. They're nowhere near as good as the original ones with real bulbs. I like LEDs in their place but fairy lights are not their place. Luckily, we've still got an original set (they're older than me; my parents bought them when they were first married 28 years ago, or maybe before they got married. I genuinely have no idea whether or not they lived together before they were married). These original ones are now taped up inside the dining room window. I love Christmas lights. I love lights in the dark in general. That's why I don't mind in the least that it's pitch black when I come out of work at 5pm and I'm not backing this "Mess around with our clocks!" thing that's suddenly appeared this year. How many years has everyone been fine with it? Why is it suddenly this year that it's a big deal that we must consider changing the system? I like the system.
I'm wearing a navy blue and dark grey striped thermal top today. It's for men but I like it. I've got a ladies' one, in thin pink/purple/grey/black stripes and I like it but my manly one is longer, the sleeves are longer and it feels sort of slinky. I like the way it looks on me. Men's clothes are so much better than women's. Give me a manly t-shirt over a girly top and work boots over heels any day.
