phantym_56 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
phantym_56) wrote2010-12-07 05:46 pm
phantym_56) wrote2010-12-07 05:46 pm
Day 18 - Your Favourite Birthday, in great detail
This is a sore spot today of all days. Let me start from the beginning.
My 21st was good. I jumped off a mountain strapped to a lovely lad.
But I'm choosing my 14th simply because it was the last time I had a birthday. When I was eleven and a bit, I moved to a new town 10-15 miles away from my old home. I stayed at the same school, I stayed at the same Guides, I kept the same friends. But these friends were of a tribe who believed 10-15 miles was an epic distance. I kid you not, I can count on my fingers the number of times friends have come to this house in the last fourteen years. I rarely if ever saw my friends during the summer holidays; they couldn't travel that sort of distance. Yes, I'm still incredibly bitter about this. It's a given that I'll drive it to see them but the other way around? Nothing doing.
My birthday is during the summer holidays. It was such an undertaking that past fourteen, I didn't really bother. But for my fourteenth, I had a bouncy castle in the back garden and jelly and ice cream and all that. Childish, but that was the point. Everyone enjoyed it. It was a good party, it was a good birthday. A couple of bouncy castle-induced back injuries but that was fine. No one died and several friends made the Epic Journey.
The reason this is such a sore spot today is that I was supposed to be going on a day trip to France with a couple of girls from the office at the weekend and this afternoon they offered me chocolate as a consolation prize for neither of them being able to go. So many friends rejected me during May-July that I lost trust in every single person in the world but as of about August, I was regaining faith in them and now all that has been shattered again. I get that they can't go; they've got reasons, it's not their faults. It's just as neat a lesson as you're going to get as to why I live my life so independently without other people. You can't rely on other people. They let you down every single time.
My 21st was good. I jumped off a mountain strapped to a lovely lad.
But I'm choosing my 14th simply because it was the last time I had a birthday. When I was eleven and a bit, I moved to a new town 10-15 miles away from my old home. I stayed at the same school, I stayed at the same Guides, I kept the same friends. But these friends were of a tribe who believed 10-15 miles was an epic distance. I kid you not, I can count on my fingers the number of times friends have come to this house in the last fourteen years. I rarely if ever saw my friends during the summer holidays; they couldn't travel that sort of distance. Yes, I'm still incredibly bitter about this. It's a given that I'll drive it to see them but the other way around? Nothing doing.
My birthday is during the summer holidays. It was such an undertaking that past fourteen, I didn't really bother. But for my fourteenth, I had a bouncy castle in the back garden and jelly and ice cream and all that. Childish, but that was the point. Everyone enjoyed it. It was a good party, it was a good birthday. A couple of bouncy castle-induced back injuries but that was fine. No one died and several friends made the Epic Journey.
The reason this is such a sore spot today is that I was supposed to be going on a day trip to France with a couple of girls from the office at the weekend and this afternoon they offered me chocolate as a consolation prize for neither of them being able to go. So many friends rejected me during May-July that I lost trust in every single person in the world but as of about August, I was regaining faith in them and now all that has been shattered again. I get that they can't go; they've got reasons, it's not their faults. It's just as neat a lesson as you're going to get as to why I live my life so independently without other people. You can't rely on other people. They let you down every single time.