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I have had a good productive morning at working following a night when I slept like the dead and didn't stir until my alarm went off. Unless this afternoon goes badly pear-shaped (and Dearly Beloved Boss is due in, so it might...) then I'm pretty happy today.

That's all.

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Day 21 - Another Moment, in great detail

Today's Moment is one that I considered last time the prompt was "a moment."

I've mentioned my friend Magpie. I was in love with him for a few years but ultimately, his place in my life was as mentor, hero and guardian angel. He was the first friend I had who was significantly older than me - by a massive gap of four and a half years - and he was very good to me. He taught me a lot, he respected me, he stood up for me and he's the only person who's ever made a dietary suggestion and I've gone along with it which is in itself a massive thing.

This particular moment happened fairly early on in our acquaintance. It was a Thursday evening which was club night, we'd gone to the usual bar, along with several others, as usual and we were sitting in our usual seat. It's a student bar in one of the colleges, it was a dark corner where you sit on padded velvet bench-things or metal patio chairs. There was always karaoke going on. I say "in our usual seat". Actually, we usually sat just outside the door where we could hear each other speak and where no one looked at us for being weird if we happened to pull out a map the size of three tables. Back then, there were only five of us, I think. Five regulars. The other four were all boys, all tall, all experienced and me, this blonde-haired skinny little girl half their height.

Anyway, one evening, the other three weren't there. Maybe they were at the bar, maybe me and Magpie had arrived early, maybe the others had already gone. I don't know. I don't have any recollection of any of it except him saying something to me - I don't remember what - and me staring at him, trying to decided what to say. Staring at him for far too long. Not long enough for it to get awkward, just long enough for him to suddenly draw back, looking a little startled and go "God, how are you doing that? It's like you're looking into my soul!"

So that was my Moment. The moment I looked into Magpie's soul.

(I have a link in my sidebar of "Cast and characters in Phantym's life". It's to remind me what everyone's codenames are. I really should dust it off and made it public so you can see who all these people are)

22:55 - I've just found my diary from my first year of uni. It's fun to read. My handwriting is pretty legible and by the age of eighteen, I was thinking the way I do now and writing just as I would now - unlike my diary from school which I've also been reading. Not reading, actually. Flicking through and cringing. But the uni diary is proving quite an entertaining and interesting document of my early experiences with The Club.

This is my entry on the Moment above:

Thursday 8th January 2004
11:52 pm - Almost tomorrow but not quite! I've just spent 3 hours in the [...] Bar - the same surreal experiene, dim red lights, karaoke, schoolgirl outfits and us sitting in a corner talking about ropes, rocks and minibuses. And as per usual when everyone except me, Magpie and Pieboy have gone, we get back to the alpha male headbutting again. All 3 of them are too stubborn/possessive/strong-minded/weak/whatever to relinquish control and I'm a witness to a lot of it.
While I remember, me and Magpie shared a lovely moment. He said something, I think it was about having a chip on his shoulder and because I had no response to that, I just looked at him and it struck me how black and pupiless his eyes were. But it unsettled him. "What?" "Nothing." "You were looking at me in that way - that penetrating stare - it was as if you were looking into my soul. What's she thinking?!"
It would be nice if I could see into his soul - he's one of the good guys at heart...

Ok, some of that doesn't make sense. "The same surreal experience"? "Weak"? The 3, by the way, isn't a mistake. The three refer to Magpie, Pieboy and Moon. That Moon wasn't there just then is irrelevant. A lot of my diary is musing on the complex relationship those three have. I've also realised that my diary is a 5 year diary. That's why it has five sections marked off down each page with Year: at the start of each. I just use it as lined pages. The pages are slightly falling out. The first entry in that diary is dated 16th October 1999 but my use of it is somewhat sporadic which is why it lasted so long. I can't get over how easy my handwriting is to read, especially compared to my older diary which chronicles the misery of Year 8. A bad year and yet quite the landmark in my life because Year 8 was when everything turned around.
I bought a new diary a few months back and it's only got one entry in it, dated around September. I vow to pick it up and write in it more often.

Anyway, I should go to bed. Shopping, metalwork and lunch with my grandad who'll be 87 on Sunday await tomorrow.